I am going through a transitional phase in my life. I keep doing weird stuff I’ve never done before. Why? I couldn’t say. I’m turning 40 in November, maybe it is a mid-life crisis. So far it has been harmless. But this morning… I was walking to the train and a young man walked past me. Something about his red jacket, his jeans, and his playful sneakers caused me to have what must have been a stroke. And out of nowhere I called out, “Hey Tall and Sexy where you going?” This was followed by grunt and a weird nod. Me, a proud feminist, catcalled. I catcalled a fellow human being. Not okay! I was entirely clothed in shame and was on the precipice of vigorously apologizing when he said, “To class ma’am. I go to law school at the U. I hope you have a blessed day.”
Did I skip about 30 years of my life and now I’m just a dirty little old lady, and thus no longer a threat to men in their 20’s? It can’t be that. I do alright. I find socializing with other people unbearable but when I feel the urge to merge I have never had any trouble getting someone to put their dick in me.
It is possible that like many young men in Utah he is so fresh faced and innocent and above such things that it didn’t occur to him to feel objectified or sexualized. He heard “Hey Tall and Sexy! Where you going?” as a polite and neighborly inquiry. If so…Isn’t that the cutest thing ever?
Lastly, he could’ve been doing what I often do when someone says something nasty to me. I play dumb. A creeper asks me to sit on his face and I look at him blankly and say, “Oh no. That’s not safe. You wouldn’t be able to breathe. You’re such a silly goose.” They usually find that as disconcerting as I found “I hope you have a blessed day.”
Let's hope whatever lapse in sanity I experienced is an isolated even. Men, I respect you. You're not pieces of meat.